Insert Witty Double Trouble Reference
by Jess Likes Biting
Summary: Welcome! This is where Holiday One-Shots, Birthday One-Shots, and Specials will go for Double Trouble On The Merry! Starring; Jamie and Ryan! The One Piece Cast! ANDMAYBESOMERANDOMMANGAANIMECHARACTERS! Please, Enjoy!
1. Who's Birthday?

HEY GUYS! :D WELCOME!  
This is where Birthday One-Shots, Holiday One Shots, and Specials will go from now on! :D  
Like the title? ;)

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Jamie sighed leaning against the railing of the Going Merry, her red hair moving slightly with the light breeze.

"You know, you really shouldn't lean that far back on the railing."

Jamie sat up, flashing her green eyes in front of her only to see Ryan. She smiled lightly; his green eyes staring intently back at her own. Her brow rose, "What's up with you?"

He shrugged, sitting on top of the railing with in a second. "You know, I'm never going to get use to you doing that."

He grinned, hanging onto the railing tightly. "I'm never going to get use to the fact when you threaten me with a stick; I actually have a reason to be afraid."

She snickered, "Even back home, you screamed like a little girl."

He growled standing up looking down at her, "What was that runt?!"

Jamie smiled innocently, moving back from him slowly, "I said, and I quote, 'you. screamed. like. a. little. girl.' Better?"

He stopped in his track, his face turning slightly red, "I'll give you a head start."

Before any violence could start, Nami appeared out of nowhere, "What's today?"

They both stopped, and stared back at her silently. They blinked and slowly looked at each other, "October 17."

"Thanks!" She scratched her head, "What's wrong with you two?"

Both twins blinked once, before bursting out into fits of laughter. Soon, the whole ship's attention was on the two laughing.

Nami growled, still wanting her question to be answered stepping forward, grabbing both by the collar of there shirts lifting them up. They stopped, but still had a grin on their face.

"Guess what?"

Nami blinked at the both, "What?"

"WE'RE NINETEEN BITCHES!"

Luffy was the first to grin, "It's your birthday?!"

They both nodded, grinning to themselves pounding their fists in the air, "HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY TO USSS!"

Soon Luffy joined their madness, all three spinning in circles chanting the 'Happy Birthday' tune over and over again.

There was a silence from the rest of the crew, "Wait…"

The three stopped there dancing and looked at Zoro.

"How can you two be nineteen?"

Jamie stepped forward raising a hand smartly, and closing her eyes. "Simply, nineteen years ago, two horny people got together and-"

Zoro's fist connected with her head stopping any more words to come out, he growled at her, his face slightly pink at the cheeks, "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Ryan raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean by it?"

Jamie stopped rubbing her head and also looked up, "Yeah! It doesn't have to do with our vertically challenged-ness does it?"

Usopp blinked, "You're what?"

Sanji stepped forward hands in his pockets, "She's saying they're short."

Usopp blinked taking out a ruler walking towards the two, "YOU GUYS ARE ONLY 5'4"!!"

They growled hitting Usopp on the head, "GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT?!"

-suddenly screen blanks and Jess Likes Biting appears on you're screen.-

I'd like for all of you to open a new window or tab. Now that you have done this, look up Robin's height. Compare this with Ryan's.

-5 second silence-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-flashy screen back to the Straw Hats-

Jamie blinked, "Was I the only one to see Jess Likes Biting do that?"

The other's continued their laughing, and Ryan growled. Jamie shrugged, "Guess so."

Sanji danced over towards Jamie, "Its okay Jamie-swannnn! I don't mind that you're short!"

She growled, "I'M NOT SHORT!"

Nami stopped her giggling to grab Jamie's hand and attempt to drag her. Jamie stayed in her spot staring blankly at Nami, "What the hell are you doing?"

She growled, "Let's go! I'm giving you my present to you!"

Ryan pouted, "What about me!"

Nami grinned, "You'll get you're after I'm done with Jamie's. I over heard something you two were talking about and had something lying around I thought you might like."

Ryan blinked and watched Jamie being dragged away by Nami.

The other's blanked after them, "What do you think she'll be doing?"

Sanji's eyes widened, "I HAVE TO MAKE JAMIE A CAKE!"

"That wouldn't do much."

Sanji looked over towards Ryan, "Why not?"

"She doesn't like cake."

Luffy blinked slowly, "WHAT?! SHE DOESN'T LIKE CAKE?!"

Ryan nodded, "She's more of a No Bake Cookie kind of girl."

Sanji blinked, "No…Bake…Cookie?"

He nodded again, "It's something my mom use to make for our birthday very year. And when my mom disappeared I started doing it for her."

Sanji tapped his chin, "How do you make this no bake cookie?"

Ryan grinned, "I'll teach you, I'm sure it'll come out even better with you making them anyways."

With that they were both off, Luffy looked around him. Usopp had disappeared to go make Jamie and Ryan their gifts and Zoro was passed out on the ground sleeping. Luffy grinned jumping away to somewhere on the ship to find the perfect presents.

-With Nami-

"No."

"Yes."

"I don't think so."

"Why not?!"

"Just.. no."

"But Jamie!"

"But nothing Nami! I refuse to!"

Nami glared at the smaller girl, "You have to."

Jamie had her arms folded and one eye open to watch Nami carefully, "And why?"

"I bought it. It doesn't fit me. I'm not going to let it go to waste."

"Then sell it!"

"No."

"Nami, please just listen to me for a minute. No."

She sighed, before grinning evilly. Jamie gulped backing away from her evilly, "If you don't I'll tell them you're name."

Jamie's eyes widened, "You don't have that information."

She grinned confidently, "I do actually, and Ryan can't keep secrets from me."

She growled, her green eyes narrowing, "He wouldn't dare."

"He already did."

Jamie gulped looking at the item in her hand, "Nami.. please, no?"

Her grin turned even more sadistic, "Our we doing this the easy way or the hard way?"

Jamie sighed, "I'd rather go down with a fight."

Nami growled, "Fine!"

And with that she pounced on the poor helpless Jamie.

-Moments later-

"OH BOYS!"

Sanji danced out of the galley, "Yes Nami-swa-!"

Ryan walked out and his jaw dropped.

Luffy bounced over and was the prefect mirror image of Ryan's expression, Usopp joining them. Zoro looked up from his sleeping position and his eyes widened and face turned a light pink.

Sanji's shocked expression turned into a giddy grin and hearts exploded from his body, "JAMIE-SWAN IS BEAUTIFUL!"

Jamie stood awkwardly in front of Nami, with a scowl on her face. Not only was her boy shorts and tank top gone but they were replaced with a red halter top and a black skirt that stopped mid thigh. Her stomach was exposed, and her hair pulled into pig tails. There was a red tint on her cheeks, and her bangs feel into her face.

Nami moved something from behind her back and through it at Ryan. "Happy Birthday!"

He quickly caught it, and looked down at the item in his hands. It was an empty journal; Ryan looked up with a grin. "I heard you wanted to record our adventure."

Ryan's grin disappeared, "Thanks Nami. But, now can you tell me what the hell you did with Jamie?!"

Sanji continued to stare with hearts flowing from his body, "Jamie-swaaannnn is so prettttyyy!"

Jamie growled looking down at Ryan, "AND IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT!"

Ryan raised an eyebrow, "Is it my fault you actually look like a girl?"

Jamie growled, "YOU TOLD HER MY NAME!"

Ryan tilted his head, "No I didn't."

Jamie's expression turned blank and she slowly turned around to face Nami, "What?"

Nami grinned, "Sorry, did I forget to mention that he actually didn't tell me?"

Just before Jamie could attack or harm Nami, Usopp jumped up the steps recovered from his shocked state before handing Jamie a present.

She titled her head, pulling the box open, a grin escaping on her face, "USOPP YOU ARE AMAZING!"

She pulled out to sticks and grinned. Everyone fell to the ground, "Why do you need sticks!?"

Usopp grinned, "They're not all wood."

Everyone moved closer staring at the two sticks, in the form of drum sticks almost.

At the tip there was a sharp point made of steel. "It's so instead of bumbling my opponent with a stick, I can poke with something sharp!"

Ryan sweat dropped, "Like you need something sharp."

Usopp turned to Ryan next passing him his present. Jamie continued fiddling with her new sticks, well Ryan opened his gift.

Ryan stared at the box for a few moments before smiling towards Usopp; Jamie peered over into the box to see a set of pens. "I found them in my room, and thought you might like them."

"Thanks!"

Luffy passed two pieces of paper, one to each twin. "I drew you guys picture!"

Jamie grinned down at her picture, what was supposed to be her stood on top of Ryan's beat up body or what was supposed to be Ryan's beat up body. Not only that, but in the background there was a large feather-less chicken. She looked up at Luffy, pouncing on him, "Luffy this picture is beyond amazing."

Ryan looked down at his own picture to find him running away from Jamie with her bat in her hand. Jamie peered over his shoulder and laughed, "Luffy you are quite the awesome drawer."

He grinned bouncing up and down, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Sanji dragged Jamie away into the kitchen taking her treat out. She stared at them quietly before smiling up at Sanji, "Ryan helped you huh?"

He grinned and nodded, "Happy Birthday Jamie-san!"

Jamie looked back down at the cookie's picking one up, feeling a lip pressure on her cheek. She blushed looking up at Sanji to see him backing away with a grin playing at his lips.

Ryan walked in dropping down at the table grabbing a cookie, "What's wrong Jamie?"

She looked up at her brother and smiled, "Nothing!"

'_Did… Did Sanji just kiss me?!'_

Jamie stood up after her 5th cookie, "Thanks Sanji."

He smiled, "You're Welcome Jamie!"

Jamie walked out of the galley just to be pulled around the corner her body being squished against a hot chest. She blinked looking up at Zoro who quickly pulled away and looked away, "Happy Birthday."

She blinked and he quickly walked away, '_Did… did he just hug me?'_

Jamie sighed leaning against the wall, she looked over to her left to see Ryan standing next to her with a smile.

"Sometimes, you remind me of a creeper."

He folded his arms and looked away from her, "You remind me of an idiot."

"Happy Birthday, Ry."

He grinned, "Happy Birthday, Jam."

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REVIEW, PLEASE AND THANK YOU! :D


	2. You wrote what!

**WARNING: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS YAOI, RYANxSANJI TO BE EXACT!**

So, I did this little meme thing on Deviant art and put a little SanjixRyan on there, for a little experiment. Well, Sofi read it and she agreed with me that it was quite hot actually. So, this is what came out of it. ^_^ This is mostly for her, actually! xD

**ANOTHER WARNING: THINGS GET SEXUAL AT THE END (xD), SO ENJOY YEA' PREVERTS! OH, AND YOU MAY GET A NOSE BLEED.**

I could have done so much better on this, **THIS IS NOT THE HALLOWEEN SPECAIL**, that'll come out Friday!

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I sighed leaning against the railing, with a bored expression on my face. My hair moved away from my face, blew with the light breeze from the wind. I smiled lightly, and closed my eyes. Even if I was bored, it was a beautiful day, the sky was a display of oranges, reds, and even pinks. The warm air tingled my exposed skin, and y feet were bare against the deck.

I heard a light cough and looked up next to me to see my sister. She had a white tank top covering her torso, and a pair of simple tan guy shorts covering her body half. Her feet were also bare, "Hey."

She smiled lightly, the sunset giving her a light tan glow. "Yo, Ry."

She leaned against the railing next to me, and looked up to the loud galley. I followed her gaze, and listened to the many bangs from the pots and pans. Jamie's eye brow rose slightly, "You think he's okay?"

I looked over at her, her green eyes staring back at my own, I shrugged, "Don't know."

She nodded and yawned quietly to herself, "I think I'm going to find Luffy, it's oddly quiet around her."

I nodded, "You're right, that is a bit odd."

She smiled, and skipped off to find our childish captain. I turned around and placed my chin in my palm. I watched the different wave's crash against each other, the sky becoming darker and darker by the minute.

I closed my eyes, the warm breeze floating over my face. The smell of cigarettes, pulled me out of my calm trance. I looked up at the blonde cook, and felt my heart skip a beat. I bit my lip and decided to ignore him.

I closed my eyes, _Jamie's the only one who's aware of the fact that I'm actually bi and my eyes were currently all over certain cook._

I gulped, "Hey Ryan."

I looked up at him with a small smile, "Hello Sanji."

He nodded in response, and leaned against the railing towering over me. I sighed closing my eyes once again, my nostrils filling with the smell of seafood and cigarettes. I was unable to stop the smile forming at my lips, I've come to love that smell over the course of the time I've been in this world.

I felt a pair of eyes staring at me, and I looked over to catch Sanji's stare. "Yeah?"

He seemed a bit surprised I caught his stare and looked away, "Nothing."

I nodded, looking back up at the sky with a smile; the colorful sky was now a blanket of darkness with little shiny stars decorating it. The air was still warm, even without the sun warming. The moon stood in its place lighting up the darkened sky in its full glory.

I heard Sanji shift a bit next to me, "Are you on watch tonight?"

I nodded with a small smile, "Sure am."

"When ever I'm out on watch, it's always cold. You're lucky it's warm tonight."

I nodded, "It's a beautiful night, actually. I haven't seen one quite like this in a while."

Sanji let smoke escape between his lips, and I gulped to myself, "Really?"

I nodded with a small shake of my head, "When Jam and I where kids we use to live in a huge house with my parents. Every night we would sneak out onto the balcony outside of one of the rooms we weren't even supposed to be in and we'd watch the sunset. Not to mention, with not a lot of pollution in our area the sky was extremely clear and beautiful."

He nodded, "What happened though?"

I bit my lip, "When my mom disappeared Jamie started to separate from myself and my father. She wouldn't talk and all of that, but soon I knocked some sense into her. But, really both of use grew a part from my father, so we moved out at the age of 17 and he paid for the apartment."

He nodded and looked down at the deck quietly. I was slightly surprised; he wasn't freaking out over Jamie. I looked up at him, and tilted my head, "Are you feeling alright?"

He looked down at me, and then quickly looked away, "No."

I stared at him confused before looking down at the deck, _What was wrong with him?_ I bit my lip, and scratched my arm.

Well this isn't awkward.

I heard a loud crash from somewhere on the ship and quickly ran over to the source of it. Sanji arrived shortly after. Laughter exploded in the air, a triumphant Jamie stood over Zoro and Luffy. Luffy was currently tied up into a bow, with Zoro in the middle.

Jamie grinned, "You guys like the present?"

I laughed loudly, and nodded with a smile.

Sanji just smiled and walked off. Jamie tilted her head to the side and ignored the cries from Luffy and Zoro, who actually looked to be sleeping, and ran over to me.

"What's up with Sanji?"

I shrugged, "He was acting weird before, too."

She looked around me then smirked, "Why don't you go give him a kiss better?"

I glared at her, a light blush appearing on my cheeks, "Shut. Up."

She giggled, and skipped away from us. Luffy looked up at me with puppy dog eyes, and I laughed, "Sorry dude, I got to go see what's wrong with Sanji."

I heard Luffy's protests and just continued walking towards the galley. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, opening the galley door. "Hey Sa-", I was cut off by the door slamming and my back being pushed up against it.

Then it hit me, I was locked in the galley and the lights, were indeed, off. I gulped and reached out my hand grabbing the hand that was currently holding me up against the door, "Uh… is that you Sanji?"

Silence filled the air, and all that was heard was my calm breathing and the breathing of the man holding me. I know for a fact it's a guy, because Nami wouldn't do this and Jamie wouldn't either. Which left either Usopp or Sanji, hopefully it's Sanji.

I reached my hand out for the chest in front of me, and felt a tie under my fingers. "Sanji, what are you doing?"

I felt him let go, but didn't see him move. My eyes were now adjusting to the darkness in the room. I looked up at the taller man, and bit my lip. He was staring down at the ground, his hands curled in tight fists. I lifted my hand to his shoulder, "Dude… at least say something! You're driving me crazy!"

He bit his lip slightly, and then looked at me, "You're the one driving me crazy!"

My hand dropped from his shoulder to my side, and my eyes widened, _I'm… driving him crazy?_

"I don't know what's wrong with me! Lately all I can think about is you! Why? I don't know! It's bugging the hell out of me! Whenever I'm around you my mood goes through the roof, and I can't help but not want to smile! It's almost like I have a crush on you! And you're a man, and I love women! I don't understand anything!"

I felt my heart beat increase in speed, and had to bit my lip to hide the smile that wanted to creep onto my face. _Did he just say he had a CRUSH on me?_

He ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated matter, "Not only that, you've even been in my dreams! Not only do I think about you constantly, I even dream about you!"

I bet I resembled a little child right now, compared to the tall cook. I scratched the back on my neck, and looked up at him, "I, uh, don't know what to say?"

Which was true, I honestly really didn't want to say anything. I knew Sanji wasn't gay, but the words coming from his mouth.. Just made me want to tackle him to the ground. Which I don't think he would like much.

He growled loudly, a hit his head, "Tell me what I have to do to stop this!"

I stood their awkwardly, and sighed, "You… could… be um, bisexual?"

He shook his head, "I'm straight though! I love women!"

I looked down at the ground, my hair falling into my face, "I'm bisexual, there's nothing wrong with it."

He stopped his pacing, and looked down at me, "You are?"

I looked up to him and shook my head, "Yeah."

"How come you didn't tell us?"

I shrugged, "Didn't think it actually matter."

"Is Jamie?"

I looked up at him, then tapped me chin, "You know what… I've never actually asked her."

I smiled at him and let out a laugh, I fell back leaning against the door. He let out what almost sounded like a laugh along with some type of sigh. Sanji sighed falling against the door leaning against it next to me. I smiled lightly to me, at least now I know that when I'm thinking of him, he's thinking of me.

I slide down to the floor, Sanji following suit. "What do we do now?"

I looked over to him, leaning my head back against the door shrugging, "What do you want to do?"

He looked down at his hands, and then at the wall in front of him. I looked down at my feet, and then bit my lip. I looked over towards Sanji in the corner of my eye, _Should I?_

I turned towards him, but quickly looked away. I shook my head at myself; I'll never be as blunt as Jamie when saying her opinions on something or anyone. I leaned back all the way, a sigh escaped my lips. Sanji was still in the same position looking straight at the wall on the other side of the galley.

"Screw it."

Sanji looked over to me confused, and I quickly turned my head, jumping onto my knees grabbing the back of his neck crashing his lips onto mine. I closed my eyes, but I could tell he was shocked. I raised my hand to the other side of his face, and held it in between my hands. My knee was in between both his legs, and my other knee was on the other side of his leg.

I pulled away, a quiet suction sound ending the kiss I've been wanting for a while now. I looked down at his chest, afraid to see what emotions were held up in his eyes, actually eye considering I could only see one.

I stole a glance at his mouth to see it agape, and I cursed myself under my breath. _He probably hates me now. _

"Why d-did you do that?"

I looked up at his face, and bit my lip. There wasn't any emotion showing on his face, a blank look covering any clues I could look for.

I felt my cheeks warm up, and I opened my mouth slightly to let some sort of answer to come out, yet nothing came out. He waited underneath me for an answer patiently almost.

I pulled my hands away from his face, and muttered, "Sorry."

I stood up quickly, removing myself from a very comfortable position on top of Sanji's body. I bit my lip before opening the door just enough to let me out and make sure Sanji doesn't get hit with it.

I shut it quietly and headed towards Jamie's room. I sighed quietly, shaking my head at my stupidity.

_I shouldn't have kissed him. Yet, I don't really regret it at all. I sure as hell, enjoyed it. Probably a little too much…_

I shook my head, which I found I was doing a lot and opened the door to Jamie's room/storage room. She was quietly humming; swinging on her hammock like it was a swing. She looked up at me and smiled lightly, I walked forward sitting next to her, swinging with her.

"What's wrong, love?"

I looked at her through my hair, and sighed, "I kissed Sanji."

She stopped the swinging, and looked over at me shocked, "Go Ry! Wait – What did he do? Did he get mad? Did he like it? Did you guys have crazy sex?"

"Whoa," I put my hand up to stop her, "He did nothing but sit there. So, I uh, left."

She shook her head with a small smile, "Good sign, either it hasn't hit him that he kissed a dude or maybe he might actually like you back!"

_If only she knew._

"He loves women to much, I don't have a chance."

"Ryan, you look like me, which means you're hot. Not that I'm calling you it, because that's incest and disturbing. But, still, not to mention you're extremely fun to be around! You're nice and you're awesome! He'd be an idiot to give up this chance."

"He's straight, Jamie. It wouldn't work."

She smiled lightly, patting my back, "But, that can be changed."

I looked at her, "You can't just change someone like that Jamie."

She smiled, "I'm not saying change him, I'm saying SHOW him that you're lovin' is the good kind."

I laughed lightly, "How am I related to you?"

She put her pointer finger in the air, "While, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much –"

"Just stop right there."

She grinned, "Well?"

I looked at her confused, "Well what?"

She hit my head swiftly, "What are you still doing here?! Sanji's up there alone and everyone else is sleeping by now! Go sex him up!"

I stood up and stared down at her, "I love how my sister is telling me to go sex up someone."

She grinned, "Yes, someone has to be the pervert in the family. Plus, sense you would never say it to me, I had to take the opportunity to say it to you."

"Damn straight I wouldn't say it to you."

She laughed and shooed me out of the room. I bit my lip slightly, and found myself walking towards the deck. I climbed up onto it, and looked straight a head of me to see the cook leaning against a railing with a contorted face of confusion and fear.

I gulped, _that probably isn't a good sign_.

I slowly walked forward, actually having to force myself to walk slowly. It was kinda hard to control my speed these days with this devil fruit. I never actually notice the fact I'm always running around so fast.

I slowly made my way up to him, and my arm immediately went up to my other arm holding it securely. Almost as a way to block the pain I knew would come once he either a) yelled at me for kissing him or b) not want to be with me.

He looked up at me, and his face expression drained completely and he just stared at me. I looked down at the deck, the moonlight shining down at us creating a light glow on our skin.

My hair fell into my face, and I quietly looked at him the best I could through my bangs. I watched him take a step forward, then a step back. I looked up at him, flipping my hair out of my face.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He looked down to the ground, then back up at me filling the space between us until he was only a few inches in front of me. He leaned down and grabbed the back of my head hesitantly before pulling my face towards his. He stopped a few meters away before closing his eyes and pushing his lips onto mine.

My eyes widened in shock, I slowly raised my hand resting it against his neck pulling him closer. My eye lips dropped, and I raised my other hand to his waist pulling his body into mine.

We stayed like that for a minute before Sanji pulled away silently, biting his lip. "Why did I just enjoy that?"

I looked forward into his chest, listening to him question himself silently under his breath. I bit my lip trying to conceal the smile that dared to creep up on my face. I moved my bangs so they were covering my face, and stared directly into his chest.

"Do it again."

I looked up at him, and was unable to hide the smile anymore. I shook my head, pulling his face down to mine with little effort, this time planning on taking it a little further. I pulled his lips onto mine, and let my tongue run across his bottom lip. I felt him pull back a little, and pulled away from the kiss to look at him.

He gulped, "Uh…"

I waited patiently for him to continue. He breathed out of his nose, and then pulled away from my grasp. I looked down to the ground, "What's going to… uh, happen… now?"

I looked up to him and tapped my chin, "Jamie suggested sex."

His eye widened, "Jamie knows about this?!"

I looked up at him, "Relax, all I said was I kissed you. She won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about."

He scratched the back of his neck, "Actually… I just don't want anyone to know."

_Ouch, that kinda hurt. _

"Yet."

I looked up at him hopefully, "Does that mean..?"

He looked towards the ocean and gulped, "I just… I don't know exactly how I feel about this whole thing yet… but I, well… like it."

I bit my lip to hide the smile, "So, would you like me to show you how to enjoy it even more?"

He looked down at me with a raised curly eyebrow, "How?"

A devious smirk fell upon my lips, and I pulled him down to my level by his tie. "I'll show you tomorrow after breakfast."

I quickly pecked his lips, and "disappeared" before his eyes, then grinned to myself stopping in front of the boys' room. I stepped into it, and fell into my hammock with a grin, _if he liked the kiss; I wonder how he'll feel about tomorrow. I hope I'm not going to fast for him._

-During breakfast-

I took a bit of the apple in my hands, and leaned back chewing it quietly to myself. Jamie sat next to me eyeing both me and Sanji, who currently was trying to hide the small glances he made towards me.

Soon, one by one everyone left, Luffy of course being thrown out by an irritated Sanji. Jamie was the last to leave, winking towards me shutting the galley door behind her.

I throw away my apple core and yawned quietly to myself. Sanji set the dishes in the sink, and jumped slightly when I appeared next to him. I sat up on the counter and swung my legs back in forth, a habit Jamie passed onto me. I watched him quietly clean the dishes. I didn't actually notice the look of annoyance on his face until a large growl escaped from his throat, "Stop staring at me, damnit! You're making me nervous!"

I laughed loudly, "So I make you nervous, do I?"

He growled quietly to himself, looking back down at the dishes. I grinned, tapping my fingers against the wood on the counter. I looked around the galley, purposely ignoring the annoyed looks from Sanji and grinned to myself.

"You're extremely irritating right now."

I looked back at him clueless, "What am I doing?"

"You're attempting to make this even more, I don't even know the word anymore!"

I chuckled to myself, "Am I really?"

He growled, turning away from me, folding his arms with a look of annoyance.

"You know, you kinda look like a small child who just got their toy taken away from them, but with you it's not a toy but something I promised yesterday and you don't even know what it is!"

He turned around quickly glaring at me, "Then tell me what it is!"

I smirked, "What will I get out of that?"

He growled, "You're impossible, right now."

I tapped my chin, "Impossible isn't the right word to describe me right now, I could think of a few but I wouldn't want to make you blush."

His scowl disappeared, and I grinned. "This is a different personality."

I looked towards him with a smirk, "What? I finally have the chance to get what I want. It's kinda of an ego boaster on my part."

He gulped, "What do you want?"

"You, of course."

A light pink color appeared on Sanji's face and I smiled at him, "You know, I would never think a comment like that would make you blush. You're pretty straight forward when it comes to showing love for Nami or Jamie."

He looked down to the ground, "But this is different."

I raised a brow, "Because I have a dick?"

He let out a snort, "Because I've never done anything we a guy!"

I laughed at his face and looked forward, lifting my legs on to the counter sitting Indian style. "Exactly what I wanted to change today."

He gulped, "W-what?"

I jumped down from the counter grinning, "You heard me."

He backed up from me, with a distinct blush on his cheeks. "What w-were you planning on doing?"

I smiled at him lightly, "You're cute when you blush, you know."

That comment of course made him blush harder, "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm aware."

I walked forward, pulling on his black tie lightly without much force. His back was now against the wall, I smirked pulling on his tie bringing his lips onto mine. My other hand moved to the back of his neck pulling his head even closer to my own. My tongue ran across his lips slowly, a shiver running down his back. His hands instantly grabbed hold of my shoulders, gripping them tightly. His mouth opened slightly finally, allowing my tongue to shot into his mouth exploring it eagerly. What felt like a century later, his tongue finally started pushing back onto mine, one of his hands moving into my red hair gripping it tightly, another pulling on the back of my neck.

I pulled away from him, leaving kisses down his jaw line a small noise escaping from his mouth as he panted for air. I pulled on his tie a little more, pulling his neck down so I could reach it better leaving trails of kisses down it. His hands gripped my shoulders even tighter, a moan escaping from his lips.

I smiled against his neck, biting down slightly another moan escaping from his mouth mixed with a sharp intake of air. I pulled away grinning at his blush, and pulled him by his tie over to the table pushing him down onto the top of it. His blush darkened, and he sat up slightly pulling my head down to his kissing me lightly on the lips.

I grinned, for some reason I wasn't feeling as shy as I usually would be. I felt cockier, more confident in myself. Not to mention, it felt extremely well to be dominate of Sanji. He loosened his tie slightly, and I pushed my lips back down on to his catching him be surprise. I pulled his head closer to mine, my body was currently located in between his legs, and he was sitting on top of the table, his legs still able to touch the ground.

I moved my hands away from his neck and worked on unbuttoning his blue pine-striped collar shirt. His hands gripped my shirt tightly pulling me forward into his body. I finally reached the last button, my lips currently working there way down to his collar bone, small moans escaping from his lips.

I pushed the shirt of his shoulders and onto the table, his tie still around his neck. I moved my lips down to his chest kissing down it quickly moving towards Sanji's very happy place right now. I grinned moved down onto my knees my hands fumbling with Sanji's belt buckle. He gulped quietly to himself, I think what I was going to give him finally hit him as he gripped the table his knuckles turning white.

I unzipped his pants pulling them down along with his boxers, and smirked up at him. He bit his lips, a blush still located on his cheeks. His hands gripped the table even tighter if that was even possible. I grabbed a hold of his shaft running my fingers against it lightly. I heard a sharp intake of breath from Sanji. I smirked, gripping the throbbing, circling my hand around it pushing up and down slowly. A light moan released itself from Sanji's lips, my name rolling off his tongue quietly. I grin on my face, I moved slightly fasted against him, a louder moan escaping his mouth. "Faster.."

I smirked, moving faster against him, stopping mid way. Just as he was about to protest extremely loudly, may I add, my mouth found it's way onto his penis, my head bobbing back and forth slowly. His hand let go of the table gripping my hair, moving my head faster with his hand.

"Ryan.."

I moved faster with each moan escaping from his mouth, with one last pump his liquid spilled into my mouth and I swallowed it, pulling away from him wiping my mouth his the back of my hand. Sanji panted loudly against the table, I pulled myself up. Sanji moved towards me, pulling me towards him by the collar of my shirt crashing his lips onto mine for a sloppy kiss.

"You're r-right."

I pulled him towards me again kissing him mumbling a 'how' against his lips.

"I did enjoy it."

* * *

-cleans up blood- -cough-, So, what did yea' think of my frist YAOI attempt? HUH!?


	3. Awkward Halloween, much?

Talk about worst Halloween one shot ever, not to mention... a very late one.

**HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN!**

"JAMIE!!!!!!!"

"It wasn't me, Nami!"

Nami glared at the girl, "You're the only one!"

"It. Wasn't. ME!"

Nami moved away from the smaller girl, "Oh, then who?"

Jamie bit her lip taking a few steps back, "Well, I'll be able to tell you once you tell me what you're blaming me for."

Nami growled, her fist held tightly at her side, "YOU PUT SPIDERS IN MY BED!"

Jamie blinked, scratching her head, "I would have admitted to doing something that would anger others."

"She's right, if Jamie did that she would proudly admit to it."

Both girls turned to stare at Ryan. Jamie grinned at him, and Nami just sighed. "Then who did it?!"

Both twins shrugged, "Try Luffy, Usopp or Chopper."

She quickly and angrily stomped away, growling. Jamie turned and looked at Ryan for a minute before grinning.

He raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I JUST REMEMBERED ITS HALLOWEEN!"

His eyes widened, "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT!"

She pouted, "You don't have to be so shocked."

He smiled brightly, "Well it is such a rare occasion."

She glared at him, "I'm going to find a bucket of ants and dump them all over you. Then I'm going to throw you in a room... With said ants... and watch you from outside the room… laughing."

He pouted, "You're evil."

She grinned, "and proud!"

She hopped away from Ryan, hopping towards the galley. She skidded to a stop upon hearing whispers in it. She grinned mischievously, pressing her ear to the door. "…Then we'll trap Jamie. Got the plan?"

That voice did not belong to anyone on the crew.

She raised a brow, opening the door, "Yo! Who's in here!?"

There was an evil snicker from under the table, she quietly walked over to it bending down looking under it. "What are you doing?"

She jumped hitting her head of the table startled from the voice behind her, "I hate you, Zoro."

He smirked at her, "I thought you didn't get scared."

She glared at him, "I don't like people sneaking up on me."

He walked in closing the door once again, "You never answered me."

"There's someone under the table."

He raised a brow, "Did you hit your head a little too hard?"

She glared at him, "Asshole, look under the table now."

He raised his hand sin defense, "Fine, fine! Just calm down!"

She grinned, standing up waiting beside him. Just as he took in take of breath and bent down under the table. She poked him in the side, sending his head up to bump into it just as hers did.

She grinned to herself, forgetting that their actually was something under the table, happy with her revenge. He growled pushing her back against the counter, "What the hell!"

She looked up at him innocently, "I didn't do anything!"

He growled pushing her against the counter with his body harder, "I know it was you!"

Just as Jamie was about to retort, a small giggle was heard under the table. Zoro blinked once turning back to the table, staring at it. "I told you there was something under there."

He walked forward this time Jamie stayed against the counter, watching him quietly walk up to the table flipping it over with one movement from his arm.

Jamie sweat dropped, "You could have just looked under it!"

Zoro blinked then picked up something off the ground, turning around sticking it in my face. It was a small elf like creature how had a small grin on his face, and a small cat in his arms. Zoro was holding him from his collar, above the ground. He was not only a foot tall!

Jamie blinked poking the elf thing in its tummy, "What are you?"

A small giggle was heard from the elf, "I'm hear to ruin you're day, of course!"

Jamie blinked, as did Zoro, "Huh?"

With a snap of his little fingers, everything suddenly became dizzy for both Jamie and Zoro. Zoro's hand became limp, the elf dropping to the ground running out of the galley. Jamie moved forward slightly, only to stumble back grabbing onto Zoro's hand. "W-what.."

Before she could finish they both crashed to the ground, passed out. There was loud foot steps heard running towards the galley, the rest of the straw hats pouring into the room. Ryan's eyes widened, he ran forward lifting Jamie up onto his lap. "Hey, Jam! Wake up!"

Her eyes opened slightly, a groan escaping her lips. "Get away Ryan, I'm not Jamie!"

Everyone gasped, looking down at the girl. Ryan blinked, "Yes you are."

Her eyes glared up at him, "Is this some type of halloween joke? I'm not Jamie, I'm Zoro."

There eyes blinked, and they turned towards the swordsman groaning, "What just happened?"

He gasped, "What the hell?! When did I gain weight?!"

Jamie's body looked towards the swordsman's body, "WHAT THE HELL!?! WHY IS MY BODY OVER THERE?!"

Zoro blinked, "WOAH! WHAT THE HELL!?"

They blinked at each other, Zoro looking down at Jamie. "Dude! I'm taller!"

Jamie had a scowl on her face, "I have boobs."

Zoro stopped a blush forming on his face, "Holy shit, I have a dick!"

Laughter was heard from behind the pair and they turned towards the crew, "WHAT!?"

Ryan laughed quietly to himself, "When did you switch bodies?"

They both stopped and blinked looking at each other, "IT WAS THAT DAMN ELF!"

Zoro folded his arms, growling, "I'm gonna kill that little bugger."

Sanji walked forward staring at Jamie's body, "GET OUT OF JAMIE'S BODY!"

She glared at him, "It's not my fault I'm in her, idiot!"

Zoro grinned, "I'd say beat him up, but then you'd be beating me up."

Nami laughed, "This is gonna be one interesting Halloween."

Ryan nodded, "I can hardly wait."

And so the night continued, with many awkward bathroom moments. Many verbal fights, one actually getting physical. But soon, as night fell so did the switched affect on Zoro and Jamie ending the most awkward Halloween they have ever had.

Not to mention the worst story ever written by Jess Likes Biting! :D


	4. Happy Birthday Sexy Swordsman!

**HAPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAY ZOOOORRRROOOO! :D  
And guess who gets presents?! YOU GUYS! YOU GOT THE REVIEW GOAL! YAY! :D GO VOTE ON THE POLL FOR ONE-SHOTS!**

"JAMIE!"

I gulped ducking behind a random crate, I didn't even know we had on the ship, and held my breath. I heard the heavy footsteps of the annoyed swordsman stomp past me, and I let the air escape my lungs in a relieved sigh. My red hair was pulled into a pony tail, the way it usually was when training, my bangs spread across my face lazily. I curled my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees thoughtfully.

I closed my eyes remembering the event that took place this morning…

"_Jamie." _

_I turned my head to the side staring at our navigator with a goofy grin, "Hey Nami!"_

_She flipped her orange hair, "I need to ask you favor."_

_I nodded waiting for her to continue, she walked towards me kneeling down next to my laying position on the deck, "Today is Zoro's birthday and we're planning a surprise party because Luffy won't leave it alone… We need you to distract him for the day and no matter what keep him away from the galley."_

I sighed, pushing myself on my knees peeking my green eyes over the crate. Zoro was a few feet away scratching his head in annoyance looking inside the barrels on the other side of the room. I almost wanted to giggle at his annoyed expression, the expression on his face was cute. Yes, it was cute.

He growled a deathly look contorted on his face, "Jamie! Where the hell are you!?!"

I gulped, standing up, "Over here."

He stomped over to me, a glare on his features. "Why the hell did you trip me!?"

I bit my lip to hide the smile that wanted to play at my lips, he was obviously mad yet it was so amusing to me. I tapped my chin, remembering the look on his face when he fell in front of the galley. After we had been training for about an hour, he had gotten thirsty and started walking towards the galley. Afraid of Nami's wrath, I had acted quickly tripping him only to watch him fall flat on his face on the deck… only something else had been on the beck also. Apparently Usopp had been experimenting with some knew chemicals, color changing chemicals.

I looked up at his now pink hair, and couldn't help but let out the laugh that was begging to come out. I heard him growl pushing me forwards against the wall, my hands holding my now hurting stomach not even bothering to stop laughing.

"Shut up!"

I continued my laughing, tears escaping from my tightly shut eyes. Seriously, if you could see it right now… you'd be laughing so hard. I mean, how can I take Zoro seriously when he had bright pink hair?

I heard him growl loudly, his large hand covering my mouth my laughs drowning out against his hand. I blinked finally stopping my laughing, as his hand squeezed slightly harder. I could tell he was trying to hold his temper, and I had finally annoyed him to the point where he was pissed.

I felt kinda bad about it, that I had pissed him off on his birthday. I bit my lip, his hand still covering my mouth. I looked up at him blinking, his eyes glaring down at me. I gulped again, maybe I should be afraid of the pink-haired swordsman right now, he did look pretty evil glaring down at little ol' me.

He sighed slowly removing his hand, dropping it to the side of his side. He shook his head turning away from me; I walked forward grabbing his hand, "Where are you going?"

He looked down at me still glaring, "To the galley. Go away."

He turned away pulling away from my grip, "Wait! You can't!"

His eyebrow rose slightly, "And why not?"

I thought quietly to myself, _I need a quick excuse… come on think! Think! _My eyes widened, "Because you'll never hear the end of your new hair color if Sanji sees it!"

He growled, "I wouldn't have this if it weren't for you!"

I folded my arms across my chest, "I didn't know that Usopp put some color changing crap on the deck!"

He stepped forward, "But it is you're fault that I tripped!"

I put a finger in the air, "That may be so, but you were about to be hit in the head with a flying frog so I had to act quickly."

He shook his head, "You're a moron."

I grinned, "I'm aware, but… I'm sorry your hair turned pink."

He sighed, pulling at it with an annoyed expression causing a giggle to escape my lips. He looked over to me amused, "Did you just giggle?"

Another giggle escaped my lips, my hands quickly moved to cover it, "Maybe."

He looked at me, "Well, sense you got it pink make it green again!"

I raised an eyebrow, "How am I suppose to do that? With a crayon?"

He growled, obviously not amused at my joke, "Wash. It."

I repeated my action before, "You want me to shower with you now?"

He was about to retort, but his jaw dropped and his face turned slightly red, "H-hey! I didn't mean it like that!"

I laughed, "You're cute when you blush. Now, come on… Let's get that pink out."

zZzZz

After two long hours oh scrubbing the pink at of Zoro's hair, we sat outside of the bathroom exhausted. Not only did I was to scrub his head extremely hard, but the little bitch was complaining about it! I didn't really believe that he would complain about my scrubbing his goddamn head when he ends up almost cutting his feet off!

I sighed, following on to his shoulder with a huff. I felt him stiffen slightly, but then relax again. I thought back to his complaining then something hit me. I blinked once, then twice, releasing for a whole two hours I was straddling Zoro, my breasts in his face.

I blushed slightly, growling tiredly… No wonder he was blushing the whole time, damn I need to pay attention more. I heard foot steps heading towards us and I looked up to see Nami with a grin. "Time for dinner!"

"Finally, I've been hungry all damn day."

I giggled quietly to myself, Nami whispering a good job to me. We followed him towards the galley, he opened the door quickly to be met with a grinning Luffy, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZORO!"

Ryan stood next to a decorated table, Sanji next to a large cake already cut up into pieces for everyone. I laughed Nami and my own piece of cake were quite larger then the rest of the crews. Zoro scratched his head, confused, "Oh.. I completely forgot it was my birthday!"

I laughed, jumping onto his back in a piggy back position, "That was because of me! I was supposed to distract you all day!"

He was about to say 'oh', when he turned his head and glared at me, "WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE PINK HAIR THING WAS YOU'RE PLAN ALL ALONG?!"

I grinned, "Nope! That just happened to my advantage!"

I snickered to myself, with a grin on my face. Zoro turned towards a laughing crew, "You're h-hair was pink?!"

I nodded, still on his back, "Bright pink!"

I heard him growl, "Jamie. Shut. Up. Now!"

I grinned to myself, planting a kiss on his cheek, "Aww! It's okay Zoro darling! You know you enjoyed our time together!"

I jumped off his back, sending him a wink sitting down next to my slice of cake. Zoro stomped over to the table, with a blush on his cheeks. Sanji and Ryan glared at the swordsman, our captain singing the happy birthday tune over and over again in the background.

**hehe, THANKS FOR YOU'RE REVIEWS! Remember! This time you'll be getting messages from me!**


	5. You wrote what! AGAIN?

-giggle- I'm back with more..... SANJIxRYAN!  
Why you ask? Not only is it hot, I have to keep a few people at bay so they don't attack me for more RyxSan... COUGHSOFICOUGH.  
But anyway, like I said... IT'S YAOI GUYYYYYS!

WARRRRRNIIIINNNNNGGGGG RYAN AND SANJI MAY CAUSE NOSE BLEEDS.... Oh and this isn't as SEXUAL as the other one, although it does HINT to it :D

ENJOY LOVES! Second attempt at yaoi!

* * *

It's been about two weeks before that night with Sanji, the night he told me everything. Well, things haven't really changed much. The crew knows nothing of that night, except for Jamie of course. But I do think Nami suspects something; I have been staying in the galley a lot. Which reminds me, I was currently in the galley watching Sanji cook lunch for the crew. He was moving quickly, yet gracefully.

"Do you really have to watch me?"

I grinned, looking up at him, "Of course I do."

I watched him blush and quickly turn back around to his cooking. I stood up from the table walking for to the taller man wrapping my hands around his torso. I heard a spoon drop to the floor, and laughed dropping my hands back to my side. He growled bending down and picking it back up throwing it in the sink.

I jumped up onto the counter, and once again stated watching him again. I could tell he was nervous under my gaze; his cigarette was being crushed between his teeth. I sighed looking towards the wall, he was still nervous around me. But, hey, at least he was with me. Yeah, that's right, Sanji and I we're actually together. I smiled lightly at the thought; I never in my life would think we'd actually be together.

I heard him cough lightly and looked over towards him, "Yeah?"

He nodded over to the window and I looked out it and gasped. Outside of the window Jamie was pressed against the railing her bat falling down to the deck floor and Zoro's lips pressed against her own.

I growled jumping down from the counter, "I'm going to kill him."

Just as I was about to reach the door Sanji grabbed my hand, "As much as I wouldn't mind you killing him, I'd much rather you stay in here with me."

That's another thing that's changed; Sanji was slowly becoming less worried about the girls. Although he was still the same Sanji around them, but with me it was different. Like during meals, he'd serve the girls and me food. Then he'd make everyone else get there own. Little things like that went unnoticed by the others, but I still did.

Even though I really would like to kick Zoro's ass right now, I had to stay with Sanji. The tiny pleading look in his eyes got to me. I smiled lightly at him and walked back over to the counter sitting on it, ignoring anything that had to do with the window.

Sanji smiled lightly to himself and continued his cooking. "Who's at watch tonight?"

"Me."

I grinned, "Really?"

He looked at my grin and blushed to himself, "Yes."

I grinned wider, "You're cute when blush."

He blushed deeper, "Is that so?"

I laughed to myself, "I would think you'd come out of this shy state by now."

He looked down at the food cooking, "You still make me nervous."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, "Anything else I make you?"

He turned his head away, "You also have the habit of making me blush, which is starting to get annoying."

"Maybe you shouldn't look so cute doing it."

He ignored me and continued, "Also when you smile, my heart beat starts to speed up."

I watched him turn back to the food, "Not only that when you touch me, this weird feeling pulses through out my body."

"Really now?" I didn't mean for that to come out as a mumble, and not so quiet.

He turned off the oven, and walked over to me. I looked up at him, his eyes set on the cabinet in back of me. "I need to get some plates."

A light bulb turned on in my head and I fought the urge to smirk, "And?"

He growled lightly, "And you're in the way."

"I am?"

"Ryan, move."

"What's in it for me?"

"Luffy's gonna complain soon if I don't serve lunch."

I grabbed onto his shirt bringing him closer, "Hm, I'll let you have some plates on one condition."

"W-what's that?"

I grinned, "I wanna kiss."

He nodded and leaned forward placing a small and light kiss against my lips. He quickly pulled away and waited for me to move out of the way, I raised a brow, "That was not a kiss."

"Yes it was."

"Not in my book."

I grabbed his shirt pulling him closer, "Kiss me."

"I already did."

"Do I really have to show you what a kiss is?"

There was a loud bang on the door, making my hand remove myself from Sanji's shirt and him to back up about 5 feet. The door slammed open and I could have sworn I heard Sofi Bleuphyre and .Hitachiinx3 scream somewhere in the distance. Luffy threw himself into the room a determined look on his face, "Food, now!"

Sanji growled, "Get out Luffy, I'll call you in when it's done!"

He pouted, "But Ryan's always in here! Why don't you kick him out?!"

There was a long pause as Sanji's jaw dropped a little, I could see the panic in his eyes and I coughed lightly pulling myself of the counter. "Come on Luffy! I've got a fun game to play!"

His face lit up and he quickly stretched his hand gripping it onto mine pulling me out of the room, I turned to the cook and left him with a wink.

-insert-

"LUNCH!"

I grinned, walking away from my little game I played with Luffy. Luffy eagerly ran ahead of me and straight into the galley. I sat down at the table soon joined by Jamie, Nami, and Usopp. Jamie tilted her head to the side, and scratched the back of her neck, "Where's Zoro?"

I grinned evilly, "Luffy, Zoro and I played a little game."

Sanji bit his lip, "What did you do to the idiot swordsmen?"

Luffy opened his mouth to tell them when I loud scream came from outside, "WHAT THE FUCK!"

I smirked, "Why don't you all go see."

Jamie was the first to leave the room, Sanji and Nami following after. Usopp looked towards me and Luffy, "I have a feeling you did something to him with that super glue you asked for."

Luffy laughed, and I joined in. Jamie came back in obviously trying to not laugh, and glared at us, "Why did you super glue Zoro to the deck?"

"No reason, really."

Both Nami and Sanji busted into the galley laughing out loud, and I grinned, "We just played a little game. It's not my fault Zoro happened to roll into the glue."

Jamie turned to Usopp, "You. Go unstick him."

"Can't."

I looked towards Usopp with a raised brow, "Why not?"

He laughed nervously, "I haven't been able to find anything that will unstick it."

I bit my lip to conceal that laughter and Jamie sighed, "I'll go give him his food."

She moved towards the plates, and walked out of the galley with two of them in her hands. Sanji looked towards me handing me and Nami a plate, "Did you honestly have to go that far?"

I tapped my chin, "It was a bit extreme, but it gets the point out there."

Sanji shook his head, and ate quietly to himself.

Nami eyed us both, then spook up after taking a bite, "So, Ryan you've been in the galley a lot recently, why?"

I shrugged, "I've been getting sick in the sun, it's better for me to stay inside."

_Damn, I'm a good liar._

"So, why didn't you come out today? It's cloudy."

"I did come out today; your proof is Luffy and Zoro."

She nodded and dropped the subject.

_Yup, she suspected something._

I looked towards the now nervous looking Sanji, and had another bite of my lunch. I sighed quietly to myself, poor Sanji. I'll have to cheer him later. Which reminds me, I still haven't gotten my kiss yet.

I felt a foot rub against my leg under the table, and went stiff for a minute. What the…? I looked towards where Nami was sitting, okay so it's not here. I looked at Luffy stuffing his face, he's to busy. My eyes landed on a distracted cook sitting across from me, and I smiled slightly. Although, I don't think the foot rubbing was from him, I couldn't help but smile when I looked at him.

He was nervous about Nami, and his face was completely and utterly adorable. Yes, you did hear that correctly. I was using the adjective 'adorable'. I coughed slightly to myself, and looked around the room. Everyone had disappeared and Sanji was at the sink washing the dishes. I stood up grabbing my half full of food plate, walking it towards him.

"You barely ate."

I smiled lightly, "Wasn't that hungry."

"Are you sure Jamie wouldn't tell anyone?"

I smiled lightly at him leaning on his side, "Jamie wouldn't do something like that even if I did glue Zoro to the deck and deep down inside she was thinking why she didn't come up with it."

"What would happen?"

I looked up at him through the hair in my face, he mumbled the words I don't think he meant for me to hear them. I snuggled my face into his arm even more, "What do you mean?"

He stayed silent, my hand finding his. His eyes diverted to our hands, "That. What would they do if they found out?"

"About us?"

"About everything."

"For one Luffy's too innocent to know a lot about relationships, so we'd be safe there. Not only that I don't think he would mind at all. I don't think anyone mind, they are our friends and should understand."

I heard Sanji gulp, "How do you know?"

"When I told Jamie, she acted like it was something she knew all along. Like the whole conversation we had didn't faze her."

Sanji was silent; his hands no longer washing dishes but resting at his sides, my head still snuggled into his side. He moved over to the side, my head coming off his side and I stared up at him, "What's wrong?"

He just shrugged, "Nothing."

"I thought lying was Usopp's job?"

He smiled a lit, and I felt my heart flutter. Damn, I was starting to be some love-sick puppy. That actually isn't far from what I am, but yeah…

Sanji finished up the dishes then quietly leaned next to me on counter, my new position was on the counter where I usually sat. I watched Sanji bit his lip and then turn to me. I raised a brow; he turned fully around in between my legs.

My brow rose further, if that was even possible, and Sanji lightly smiled. "Can I try something?"

I smiled back unable to hide it, "Go ahead, love."

His cheeks turned a light pink and he leaned in placing his lips on mine. Now, my first instinct was to pull him closer, and latch onto his head. But I was unable to do this, which was quite irritating but pretty damn sexy at the same time because now my hands were securely held above my head by Sanji.

Moments later, and I'm not sure how this happened I was too distracting Sanji's lips moving against mine, I was laying on the floor and Sanji was straddling me. Not only that I was missing my shirt. Yeah, I don't know either… but I honestly didn't care.

Sanji moved down to my jaw and then slowly moved to my neck. I could feel a light pink on my cheeks for once, instead of his, "What happened to provoke this?"

He pulled away from his work on my neck, which was quite enjoyable, "I'm n-not really sure."

I grinned pulling his head back down to mine, "I like it."

With that I pressed my lips against his my tongue darting into his mouth, my hands moved to his shirt as I slowly started to unbutton it. Sanji's tongue fought back against mine, and I smirked against the kiss as best as I could.

I liked Sanji wanting control; it was pretty damn hot.

Someone coughed from behind us, and just as quickly as we needed up on the floor Sanji was up against the counter gawking at the interruption. I growled sitting up from the floor glaring at the orange haired navigator, "What?"

She was blushing slightly, then slowly backed out of the room, "Please… continue."

With that she shut the door again; I looked up at the red faced Sanji his chest moving up and down rapidly. I got to my feet and smiled up at him, "I agree with what she said."

He looked down at me panicked, "B-but…"

I pulled his head down to mine ignoring his protests, "But what?"

He gulped, this time my lips slowly kissed down his neck his hands gripping the counter he was leaning against. I was standing as far as I could on my tip toes; I leaned up to his ear quietly whispering in it, "What's wrong? I was enjoying you in control."

"N-nami…"

I sighed pulling away staring up at him, "Obviously wanted us to continue."

I kissed his lips lightly, "I'll explain to her later, I mean, the worse Nami could do is video tape us."

His eyes went wide for a minute, "What?!"

I shrugged, "I can imagine her doing that."

He blushed and looked down to the ground. I grinned, pulling his head down so I could crash my lips on his. His hand gripped the back of my hair pulling me closer to him, and I smiled lightly pulling him away from the counter and pushing him against the wall. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip, his mouth opening and my tongue quickly darting in.

My hands went back to unbuttoning his shirt, it quickly finding its way on the floor. His hands moved to each side of my head, quickly turning around so I was the one being pushed up against the wall. He pulled away from my lips, moving towards my neck then down to my chest his lips leaving trails of kisses til he made his way to my pants which quickly joined our shirts, a gasp leaving my lips.

_Yup, I defiantly liked Sanji in control. _

---

Nami smirked from the only window in the galley, a camera in her hands. Zoro even though extremely aggravated from being glued to the damn deck and Jamie shook her head, "You are perverted."

She turned around and glared at them, "Did I tell you I also have a picture of you and Zoro kissing on here?"

Zoro looked over at Jamie, "That's kinda creepy."

"I have to agree."

"Shut up!"


	6. Mad drabbles?

Seriously, I think you guys will enjoy this. I know I did.  
Mad libs, mhmmm! - heart-

* * *

**A Yummy Occurrence**

Ryan paced up and down, jiggling his mouth. His very good friend, Mary Sue Chair, had arranged to meet him here on top of him. "I have something loud to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Chair was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Ryan expected to see her bounce up, her sweaty hair streaming behind her and her round eyes aglow.

Ryan heard footsteps, but they seemed rather fat for a delicate and hot girl like Mary Sue Chair, whose tread was crazy. He turned around and found Sanji staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Sanji said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Ryan had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so victoriously. "Mary Sue Chair asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Sanji, his vagina began to throb violently.

"Oh," Sanji said, huskily. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Ryan said and caught Sanji by his eye. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Sanji said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a pile of sharp items falling onto his stomach then having the orgasm of his life.

From behind a boobs, Mary Sue Chair watched with a lovely light in her disgusting eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Ryan/Sanji". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the starfish from extinction.

* * *

**The Adventure Of The Deer**

Jamie and Zoro were out for a badass Valentine's walk on my dead body. As they went, Zoro rested his hand on Jamie's toe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so skinny, Jamie was filled with sick dread.

"Do you suppose it's smelly here?" she asked quickly.

"You smart silly," Zoro said, tickling Jamie with his bed. "It's completely dumb."

Just then, a fat deer leapt out from behind a mushrooms and hit Zoro in the tongue. "Aaargh!" Zoro screamed.

Things looked sexy. But Jamie, although she was shitty, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a remote and, like a dead animal trying to breathe, beat the deer blindly until it ran off. "That will teach you to nap innocent people."

Then she clasped Zoro close. Zoro was bleeding enormously. "My darling," Jamie said, and pressed her lips to Zoro's palm.

"I love you," Zoro said hastily, and expired in Jamie's arms.

Jamie never loved again.

* * *

**Cooing Lang Syne**

Ryan sipped calmly at his drink and stood cooing behind a car. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel huge and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how mysterious his fingernail got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Ryan knew very well why he was at the party: to see Robin.

Ah, Robin. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her slippery leg made Ryan's heart beat like a cat eating dog food.

But tonight everyone was masked. Ryan peered always through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Robin. There, he thought, the woman over by the rainbow, the tame one with the snail mask. It had to be Robin. No one else could look so sticky, even in a snail mask.

She began to walk Ryan's way and Ryan started to panic. What if she actually _talked_ to Ryan?

Robin came right up to Ryan and Ryan thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Robin said loosely. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the dildo," Ryan said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _monthly_.

Just then, an old voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Ryan's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Robin might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Robin swept Ryan into her arms, bent him on the bottom of the ocean, and kissed Ryan equally, slipping him the tongue and groping his lung.

Ryan could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out correctly and pulled Robin's mask off her face. It _was_ Robin! "I knew it was you," Ryan said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Robin said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Ryan watched her go. She would be right back, Ryan was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.

* * *

**I'm Dreaming Of A Jolly Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Jamie sat correctly on your mom, sipping sexy eggnog.

She looked at the lovely rug hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Sanji had hung it there, just before they looked at each other hastily and then fell into each other's arms and sexed each other's ear.

If only I hadn't been so round, Jamie thought, pouring a red amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Sanji might not have got so fat and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a dumb tear and held her nose in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a sweaty voice lifted huskily up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a jolly Christmas_

_Just like a pair of boobs floating down a river_

Jamie ran to the door. It was Sanji, looking fast all over with snow.

"I missed you greedily," Sanji said. "And I wanted to hump your ear again."

Jamie hugged Sanji and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Sanji said.

"I think so too," Jamie said and they sexed each other's ear until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted chopper mouth and lived enormously until Jamie got drunk again.

* * *

I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THAT I DID NOT CHEAT. I COULDN'T... IT WAS ONLINE.

xD SO YEAH. I HOPED YOU ENJOYED.

I love you! Oh, and guess what! I broke my foot. xD


End file.
